My life as a Dalmatian

Hello, eljay. Yes, I know it's been a while, but, like, what else is new, and besides, this time I actually have a reasonable excuse in that I have been SICK LIKE A DOG, and a gruesomely sick dog at that. Also, sick like a spotty dog, because it's not bad enough that I couldn't eat a fucking thing for almost two weeks, but just when my stomach finally decided that food was possibly not a mortal enemy after all, my limbs broke out in a measle-ish rash that was pretty much every bit as attractive as it sounds. And then, THEN!!!! My legs started hurting so much I could barely walk, it felt like the soles of my feet were bruised and that every bone in my calves, shins and knees had been filed to sharp points the better to skewer all my muscles and nerves.

It was not fun, oh, no, it was not. Also? My doctor (well, she's not mine, thank god, but she's filling in for my doctor whiles she's on mat leave) is an ass. She suggested on the first visit that perhaps I should avoid tomatoes and spicy food. To which I said, "Well, that shouldn't be a problem, should it, since, as I believe I mentioned, I can't eat a freaking thing without hurling." When I finally dragged my crippled, rash-ridden self back a week later, she was forced to concede that indigestion probably wasn't to blame. Bleh.

Anyway, the rash has almost entirely disappeared now, my legs barely hurt at all, my stomach is behaving quite nicely most days, and the dermatologist she referred me to says the whole shebang was caused by a virus. He says that the rash was actually "the echo of a virus" which has a rather pleasing sound to it for something that sucked so mightily. 

So, how the hell have you been?